Description

patron saint of apparitions (protects those who are not, in fact, there) / patron saint of hallucinating the voice of god / patron saint of the mountainside in ny where your size in relation to the world becomes evident / patron saint of flat tires / patron saint of showers in the dark when the power goes out / patron saint of stray cats on the fire escape (prayed to most by those who feed them despite the wrath of landlords) / patron saint of peppermint oil in the kitchen / patron saint of family histories / patron saint of thesis writing / patron saint of insomnia / patron saint of mindlessly staring at white walls (protects those without ideas from ennui) / patron saint of bad choices / patron saint of shoes in the hallway / patron saint of movie marathons / patron saint of deadlines / patron saint of hospital smells / patron saint of clean tests / patron saint oh hangovers / patron saint of slow afternoons / patron saint of getting up at 5am to open all the windows and getting as much cool air inside as possible / patron saint of cinnamon sugar / patron saint of wharf rats (literal and figurative) / patron saint of high fevers / patron saint of busted fireplaces that smoke up the whole building before we realize and put it out / patron saint of shallow pools of water / patron saint of sunrise from the wrong side / patron saint of first jobs (known for the miracle of good tips) / patron saint of mosquitoes / patron saint of well-meaning strangers / patron saint of book clubs / patron saint of other people’s cats / patron saint of best friend’s mother’s couches / patron saint of girls who play grindcore at 6am / patron saint of late nights / patron saint of early mornings (prayed to mostly by bakers, sailors, and students) / patron saint of writing the wrong thing on the wall even though you have this all planned out ahead of time / patron saint of good soymilk / patron saint of scraped knees (but nothing else) / patron saint of late-night talk shows / patron saint of breaking your shoes in an airport before embarking on a 21 hour journey / patron saint of losing your glasses while actively riding a bicycle / patron saint of all those guinea pigs in south philadelphia / patron saint of new toothbrushes / patron saint of chronic fatigue (known for the miracle of getting out of bed) / patron saint of broken fingers (build alters in chain-link fences) / patron saint of carpenter bees / patron saint of guilt (acceptable offering: oranges) / patron saint of men on the sides of mountains (prayed to most by those seeking confession) / patron saint of shitty science fiction / patron saint of one-legged pigeons / patron saint of public transportation (protects only those who are already on their way) / patron saint of uno competitions which last over 5 hours (known for the miracle of repaired friendships) / patron saint of subway platforms (protects those who are waiting) / patron saint of comfort